The Twelve Days Of ANBU Interrogation
by insomniasucks
Summary: A dozen of our favorite ninja manage to get themselves into a jolly disaster.
1. Shikamaru

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**_Shikamaru_**

It was meant to be a pre-christmas party. To get everyone into the holiday spirit. It was supposed to be fun. Harmless, clean, good old fun. But when you add a dozen teenage ninjas, sake, and raging hormones into the same room, things tend to get..wild.

_It was everyone's fault_, he supposed. _We're all to blame. _

So why couldn't the damn ANBU get it through their thick minds that none of them were planning on snitching. They were leaf shinobi, meaning they all go down together.

"If no one talks within the next minute, I'll have you all imprisoned."

Fuck. Oh well, as first chunnin of their year, Shikamaru guessed he should be the one taking full responsibility. It was him who passed out from the alcohol first. Raising a pale, slightly scrawny arm in the air and attracting the attention of the rest of the bunch, he cleared his throat. "I'll tell you what happened."

He could almost hear the insults and vulgarities in their minds, the feeling of Sasuke and Neji's fists colliding with his face, and the taste of blood in his mouth after Sakura was finished with him.

Asuma's face fell, and Shikamaru tried not to let his own falter, it was never a good thing to let your sensei down. "Get in the room, kid." Ibiki ordered.

He lazily staggered towards the designated area, hands tucked in his pockets. The others glared, snitch. Little did they know what his real motive was.

* * *

He blinked several times, trying to get accustomed to the blinding light. What was this? A dentist's office or the interrogation room?

"Alright, tell me everything. Tell me who was there, when they got there, how and why."

Stretching his back a little, he eased, "I'm not telling you anything. But if you want I can take the punishment and leave the others scot-free."

Ibiki's nostrils flared at the disrespect. "This isn't about who gets punished." he spat, "This is about information. And don't think you can call the shots here runt."

An irate groan was the only response he got.

One of the ANBU that was keeping watch sensed Ibiki getting impatient and tried another method, "Perhaps if the boys sensei was here, he might feel more comfortable and talk."

The tall man seemed to ignore him, scowling only at the boy in front of him he grunted, "Very well then, bring in Asuma."

Shikamaru breathed again when his sensei came in, instantly relieved. He could tell it pained him to look at his student, but he didn't even know the whole story. Asuma couldn't just assume they got drunk and wild because of the scene they displayed. "Goodmorning, Shikamaru."

He gave a halfhearted reply.

"This'll go a lot quicker if you just confess everything."

He cleared his throat, "I can only tell you what happened before I knocked out."

Asuma frowned, knowing his student, Shikamaru probably got drunk and passed out before the party even started. But some information is better than none. "Tell me."

* * *

_Ino invited me, she said Naruto was throwing some jolly holiday party at some deserted house, I had no idea it would be Sasuke's. So I went. Late._

_Everyone was already there, having a good time. I didn't want to disturb them so I took a cup from the table and drank it. Not really sure what was in there. Neji and Tenten were laughing about something, Sakura was decorating the tree, and Kiba was helping her. I think I remember Choji next to the snack table. Ino was dancing with Naruto, dirty dancing, I might add. I'm sure Hinata was hiding from someone, but I don't remember who. Lee was crying.  
_

_I was just really bummed about Temari not being able to make it, so I took another cup and sat down alone. I don't remember for how long, but I saw the others form a huge circle, a game of truth or dare, or seven minutes in heaven, I don't know. I sat out, and the last thing I can remember is Sasuke lifting Hinata._

* * *

"Thats it?"

"It's all I can remember before passing out." he shrugged.

Ibiki sighed, looking over what he wrote. Shikamaru was deliberately vague. And it was increasingly annoying. "Call the other kid in here, get out." he called.

Shikamaru stood and left without a word, getting a dirty look and rough bump in the shoulder from Naruto as he passed him and exited out the door and into the hall with the others.

"What?" he looked at them, they all glared and kept their mouths shut, traitor.

"Shut up and sit down brat!" Anko barked.

Sighing, he obeyed and sat down on the cold floor. Hoping the others were smart enough to forgive him.

* * *

**A short story with short chapters, cute no?**

**I'm hoping I can upload all twelve of these before Christmas day. Let's hope school isn't ass.**

**Review please, tell me what y'all think? :)**


	2. Naruto

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**_Naruto_**

It was so like Shikamaru to tell, snitch. He wondered how much he told them. The way Inoichi was looking at him told him he probably said something about Ino..

"What happened, and you'd better not lie."

Naruto arched an eyebrow, "I'm not comfortable telling any of you."

"If you don't start speaking, all of your friends are getting persecuted." Ibiki threatened.

He realized he would have to tell them, everything. Naruto looked around the room, noticing a few jounin, and he knew the majority of them. Great. What better people to tell how Ino was rubbing her body against his. Especially with her father being there. Beautiful.

Swallowing, he looked up and started.

* * *

_I'd like to start off with the fact that I had no idea it was forbidden to throw a party in Uchiha territory. Anyways, with Christmas right around the corner, Ino thought it'd be fun to maybe throw a party, get everyone spirirted. And on the day of the party, I remember me, Sasuke, Ino, and Sakura showed up first. The others came in about an hour. Yes there was alcohol. No I did not bring it. And I may have drank a few cups, but thats it. Ino too, by the way._

_Music started playing and the rest of the crew rolled in. Tenten and Neji mingling. Sasuke trying too hard to get with Hinata. Sakura and Kiba were decorating cookies. Shikamaru was I think drinking the night away, next to Choji, who was by the snack bar. Lee was strapped to the wall, deprived of any alcohol. And uh, Ino, well see first no one would get up to dance, so we thought if we started everyone would kinda groove on, but one song after the other, and I swear I didn't pick any of the music being played. And the songs got dirtier, and so did the dancing, we got closer and-_

* * *

"Bastard! Don't you ever touch my daughter." Inoichi got up to strangle him, only to be restrained by a few others.

"Inoichi!" Ibiki barked, "Don't interrupt him,"

The condemned boy scratched his neck, "Actually that's all I remember before the ANBU waking me up half naked next to her."

Everyone's eyes widened, both at the boy's stupidity and her father's incoming rage. They braced themselves, not blaming him if he were to kill him, but Inoichi surprised them all, he took a seat and shook his head. Probably brooding his daughter's downfall, and the fox's punishment.

"Bring in that daughter of yours, she might have better memory than this dolt."

The next thing Naruto knew he was being shoved out of the narrow door, passing Ino on the way out. He really didn't know whether to feel guilty, or angry, or whatever, because he didn't know how far they went. Naruto looked around the room as if asking the question no one was sure of, '_What the fuck happened last night?'_

* * *

**These are meant to be short and vague. **_  
_

**Review please :D  
**


	3. Ino

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Ino**_

Ino arched an eyebrow at her father, trying to look as innocent and calm as possible.

"Young lady, what were you doing last night?" he interrogated.

She mentally cursed Naruto for telling them anything, "Celebrating the holidays."

Ino didn't like lying to her father, so being vague was always good.

Inoichi's jaw clenched,"With who."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she huffed, "With everyone in that room."

"_Ino._." he warned, "What did you and that Uzumaki boy do?"

She bit the inside of her cheek, lie, she told herself. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ino." her father scolded, "Both your teammate and Naruto told us you were definitely doing something, we have witnesses in the other room, do not lie."

For a while she didn't say anything. Her face was red with anger as she seethed, "We were just dancing."

He watched her carefully, "Explain waking up next to him, barely dressed."

Of all the embarrassing things her father had done to her, this was the worst. And with all those ANBU there, and a few people she had respect from like Asuma-sensei. How dare he.  
**  
**"I was drunk!" she shouted, "You think I'd actually talk to that loser if I hadn't been so shitfaced?"

"I'd hope not." It was still sad she had to get intoxicated to talk to someone. "Now, what exactly happened last night?"

Ino dug her red fingernails into her palms. Not yet recovered from her father's accusations. She breathed deeply, starting slowly:

* * *

_The only thing I did at the party was laugh at everyone else because I was so drunk okay. _

_I don't even remember when it was I started drinking, but everyone else did it with me. Sakura was dancing with Kiba, I think. Or Neji. I'm not sure. Anyways, the loser asked me to dance and he was too sad and lonely to say no to. Terrible dancer, but someone screwed with the music, and it got dirty, quick._

* * *

"Continue." Inoichi pressed.

She scoffed, "I would if I could but I can't so I won't."

He sighed, this girl. "Bring Kiba. You may leave, but don't think this is over, we'll talk about this at home Ino."

She got up and smoothed the wrinkles off her clothing, scowling her way out, "I'm done talking."**  
**

* * *

_**I am in it, aint no need to seek it.**_

_**I am content, dream like content.**_


	4. Kiba

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Kiba**_

Kiba looked around the room, not sure why Ino glared at him before coming in.

"Inuzuka," Ibiki greeted, "Were you among the others getting drunk?"

"I think." he scratched the side of his head.

Ibiki rolled his eyes, "Surprise surprise," he muttered sarcastically.

The younger boy bit the side of his lip in a feeble attempt to not laugh. It didn't work.

The sharp noise of a kunai flew past his ear, cutting a few strands of brown hair. "This is a serious matter, do not laugh."

Kiba coughed, and swallowed the rest of the humor. "Have you no sense boy?"

He kept quiet.

"To break into restricted territory, a massacre occurred there! Doesn't that frighten you even a little?"

Ibiki watched Kiba's eyes fall, "Or were each of you too stupid and drunk to realize? Honestly, and from such a promising generation."

A few moments passed where no one said anything, and Ibiki was not a patient man, "Speak boy, and don't even think about lying."  
Said boy cleared his throat to speak:

* * *

_Sakura invited me, something about not wanting to go alone, so I thought of it as a date. I didn't want to seem eager so I showed up later than usual, most people were already there. Sakura was chatting with Ino, so I sat with Naruto and Sasuke and Hinata, who for some reason was jumpier than usual. Like she didn't even want to be there. Tenten was doing shots with Neji, which was a bad idea on his part, because the Hyuuga's were terrible with alcohol, Hinata proved that once. _

_Anyways, about an hour in, everyones bored. And everyones suddenly thirsty. And of course the only thing to drink is sake. Expensive sake too, i'd like to thank Sasuke for that. Drinking led to laughing, and that led to games, bad games. First it was truth or dare, and every girl got the dare to take her shirt off, which none of them did because they were all cheaters. Somehow Sasuke and Hinata ended up kissing, which for whatever reason I found hilarious. Because like, Sasuke looked like a forty year old pedophile next to her short body. Um, Sakura and I kissed too, we kissed a lot actually. Everyone did. And then, you guys came and ruined our party._

* * *

His face was that of anger now, like they were innocent for partying and the adults spoiled their fun.

"Ruin your party?" Ibiki reiterated, "You guys were all unconscious, you call that fun? Getting wrecked and not remembering a thing?"

**_Fuck yeah_**. "No, sir."

"Go bring in that Uchiha kid," he ordered.

Kiba let out a quiet sigh, it was over, he got up to tell Sasuke that it was his turn when he looked down and remembered,

he still wasn't wearing any pants.

* * *

**am i the only one looking forward to friday?**


	5. Sasuke

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Sasuke**_

To say Sasuke was angry would be an understatement, who were they to kick him out of his _own_ house, and confiscate the sake_ he_ paid for with money that he got from _missions_, and **not **his inheritance. The Uchiha was outraged.

"Talk kid."

Another order, this had been the fourth time they had demanded he speak. His eyebrows lowered a fraction of an inch as a response. He was sixteen, **not** a _kid_.

One of the ANBU sighed aloud, "Do you have any idea how much trouble you put the others into?"

It wasn't even his party, nor idea. Sasuke hated the holidays.

"I do realize its your house, but you don't technically own it until you're eighteen. Meaning you're being charged for breaking and entering."

They were right. Nobody had keys to his house, not even Sasuke.

More silence, it didn't take long for Ibiki to come up with a solution to making him speak.

"And what's this about the Hyuuga-girl? Catch your eye?"

He could feel his eyes waver a bit before returning to his scowl. He didn't even like her. He didn't.

An ANBU member flipped through his notes, playing along, "Yes, according to your friends you were seen talking, lifting, and doing various other things with Lady Hinata."

"I didn't even look at her." It just came out, self control was not well measured when it came to talking about her. Sasuke clenched his jaw once he saw the amused looks on their faces. Were they toying with him?

They continued the taunting, "Running away from the village, killing hundreds, some your fellow leaf shinobi. Breaking and entering into restricted territory, to think you'd know. And now, courting one from your families all time rivals? You've got the worst rep, Uchiha." He didn't like the way his name came out of their mouths.

"If I tell you what you want to know will you shut up and let me go already?" He bit out.

Ibiki smirked, it worked. "That's what happens in an interrogation."

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke sighed and began:

* * *

_It was at my house only because everyone is poor and lives in small cramped apartments or with their parents. And there was no way in hell I'm going to a party at the Hyuuga's house. So we threw it at min- my old house._

_I didn't care who was invited, I just wanted the dobe to shut up about Christmas and if a stupid party was what it took, so be it. I can tell you it was boring and you didn't miss a thing. _

_Oh, and I didn't even touch the Hyuuga if you were wondering._

* * *

The head of interrogation shot him a look, "How come you two were found in the same room, away from the others?"

His sharingan flared and Sasuke had to be taken away from the room immediately to avoid getting into any more trouble. He had a problem with authority.

Kakashi personally escorted him away from the men, he was met with Hinata standing by the door. He flashed her his bloodline as if warning her not to tell them anything, before brushing past her small shoulders roughly.

* * *

**ELLA LO QUE QUIERE ES SALSA~**


	6. Hinata

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Hinata**_

She sat there morally scared for her life. Scared of what her father would think of her. Scared of what would become of her ninja career and record. But scared mostly of what Sasuke would do to her. She didn't know how to lie. She didn't even know what he had told them so she could go along with it. She just knew she wasn't getting out of this situation without losing something. Whether it be the villages respect or Sasuke's acknowledgment.

"Miss Hyuuga, of all the people we'd expect to be at that party, you're the last."

Of course she was, no one knew her. She could be bad too, she just never did because she wasn't a troublemaker and her reputation was bad as it is.

"So why'd you do it dear?" She didn't like how obligingly polite and gentle they were with her, it was mildly sardonic.

Hinata wanted to cry, what with all those eyes on her, Kurenai's included. But she had to be strong for her comrades out there.

She spoke quietly, "I don't think i'll be able to r-remember everything, please forgive me." Lying through her teeth, and it seemed to work.

He nodded, gesturing for her to continue.

She took a long, deep breath before beginning:

* * *

_The entire k-konoha twelve was invited, and I'd feel rude if I didn't attend. Neji w-went with me, for pro-protection. And um, the food was good. People were dancing, Sakura was singing. There were games. They were fun._

_Neji le-left my side to be with T-Tenten, which I understood. Lee s-seemed happy enough. Kiba stayed n-near Sakura. And I'm sure I re-member I-Ino and N-Naruto together. Shikamaru was asleep. And everyone wa-was very happy, I do think we h-had f-fun._

* * *

Hinata had explained in slow, measured breathes to reduce stuttering.

Ibiki raised an eyebrow, she had left out any mentions of alcohol and the Uchiha, but he wasn't about to call her out on it. She gave her share of information. "Thank you, and if you wouldn't mind calling in your cousin, its his turn."

Nodding, Hinata made her way out of the room, pointing to the door for him to go. After an accusing look from Sasuke, she stared frantically at the back of her cousins head while he marched in the doorway.

Neji wouldn't tell, would he?******  
**

* * *

******Halfway done with this bitch.**

******And Sasuke and Hinata's explanations were deliberately short. That's why I wrote and uploaded them together, so it would sort of count as a decent update.**

******Thank you for the reviews and follows :D **


	7. Neji

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Neji**_

Judging by the way the others were looking at him made Neji think they didn't trust him too much, it was a bit irritating to be honest. He was a genius, didn't they know he had already been coming up with an excuse from before the party even started. For him, you could never be too prepared.

"Good morning," he said.

They weren't amused, "Cut the shit Hyuuga, just tell us what you did and you can be out of here in no time."

He nodded, "Very well then."

* * *

_Well, on sunday the second of December, I was just lounging around the hall when my lovely cousin Hinata informed me we were invited to a party to celebrate the wonderful joys of Christmas day. We decided to go on time, I took it upon myself to bring a loaf of fruitcake. As it turns out everyone hates fruitcake, my mistake._

_Unfortunately, we were still early, because everyone likes to come "fashionably late" and what not. Quite the pity. Anyhow, when the others did arrive, I noticed their spirited and cheery expressions for the season. Shikamaru was wearing deer antlers, Choji left his usual hat for a Santa hat, and they even put a red nose on Akamaru to pose as Rudolph. How adorable._  
_Someone must've spiked the punch because I swear I had one taste and immediately had to hold Lee back from trying any of that. I hate to restrain him on our holiday fun but I wasn't going to put the others lives at stake. I drank responsibly however. I at least know my limit._

* * *

He had thought that maybe if he started it nicely, he would be able to refrain from explaining anything he wasn't proud of.

Neji was sadly mistaken.

"Right, what about the part where we found you cradling a bottle of sake on the roof?"

He twitched, "I have no recollection of that, and I do believe its time for my good friend Lee to have his turn. Good day gentlemen."

"That seemed believable." An ANBU member wearing a crow mask reasoned, watching the boy leave the room.

Ibiki shot him a silencing glance, "You have got to be out of your mind if you believed any of that bullshit."

* * *

**There better be some sort of heavenly life technique catch to ch. 614 goddammit, i get he died protecting the main branch and whatever but ****WHAT THE HELL MAN, NEJI AND TENTEN WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A SWEET SON AND THEN AN ANTISOCIAL DAUGHTER WHO WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH SASUKE AND HINATAS SON AND CARRY OUT THE HYUUCHIHA TRADITION **

**WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT KISHI**


	8. Lee

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**This chapter is dedicated to NarutoRox.**

* * *

**_Lee_  
**

"GOOD MORNING YOUTHFUL SOULS!"

"Sit down boy," Ibiki wasn't amused.

"YES SIR." Lee complied sitting down.

The interrogator cleared his throat, "What happened son?"

"I remember it like it was just yesterday," Lee said thoughtfully, resting a hand on his chin before screaming:

* * *

_BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AT THAT PARTY SIR, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE! BEAUTY EVERYWHERE! LIFE EVERYWHERE! I LOVED THE SCENERY. I KNEW I SMELLED SOME ALCOHOL IN THE AIR, BUT ALAS I CONTROLLED MYSELF. SAKE DOES NOT CONTROL ME, THAT IS LUCIFER'S DOING. AND I WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT IN MY YOUTH. GOOD GOD, I LOVE MY LIFE._

* * *

"YOUTH! YOUTH!" He all but screamed before kicking the door open and running out of the door.

Everyone had a stunned moment of silence.

"Are you sure that kid didn't have anything to drink?"

* * *

**DAMN SON GOT YOU GOOD DINT I  
**

**YOU WAS SO SURE NARUTOROX  
**

**But that was a a pretty smart guess my fine sir**


	9. Sakura

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Sakura**_

Sakura knew it wouldn't be long until her turn came, she took this time to prepare herself. Lying to the ANBU wouldn't be easy, and even if she told the truth, they probably wouldn't believe her.

They all seemed to stare her down, best student in the academy, apprentice of the fifth hokage, how she had fallen.

Iruka, Kakashi, and Tsunade all looked extremely disappointed in her, mostly Tsunade, in fact she was furious. But they were just kids! Was it wrong to have fun and do stupid stuff in their youths before they died before they were even twenty?

"Hi." she uttered weakly.

Ibiki seemed to finally recognize her, the same kunoichi that got almost all the answers correct on the written part of the chunnin exams. Such a shame. "You of all people should have realized the consequences,"  
She nodded agreeingly, and looking down. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"That I'm deeply ashamed of myself, and I should've known better." It was said in a small voice.

He nodded, "You may explain."

Sakura looked up, swallowing before she started:

* * *

_I didn't even know there was going to be alcohol, but the idea of a party seemed fun enough, so when Naruto invited me I had to say yes. I mean I felt bad for the guy, plus Ino said she'd go if I went so yeah. I helped with decorating, it was a lot of fun, wrapping tinsel around the tree, hanging lights everywhere. No one really knew the carols, so that was also fun to learn._

_Me and Kiba just kinda clicked, he helped me with the food and was really sweet about it too. Naruto and Ino seemed to be enjoying each other. Shikamaru was grumpy, probably about being single. Choji told terrible jokes that everybody laughed at because we were a little tipsy. Hinata stayed with Neji when he was trying to be with Tenten, which was pretty rude. Um, I remember we were playing a game, maybe musical chairs? It didn't last long, people kept on cheating. _

_Hinata was the first to pass out, and everyone was out cold before any of us knew it._

* * *

"Is that all you remember?"

"Yes,"

"Is there anything you may have left out or lied about?"

"No." No hesitation either.

Ibiki nodded gruffly, "Thank you for your time."

She stood and swiftly walked out of the room, barely containing the smirk on her face. _It worked_.

* * *

**I DONT SLEEP MOTHUFOCKA ALL THAT GNAC AND THAT DURBAN DOING 120 GETTIN HEAD WHILE IM SWERVIN**

**wow the natalie portman rap is too much**


	10. Tenten

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Tenten**_

A little strange how they let two girls go consequently, everyone was staring at her intently.

"Is there any reason why..you have a black eye Tenten?"

Obviously. "No."

"Did you have that before the party?" they questioned again.

"No."

"Interesting."

She looked confused, "Thanks."

They all looked at her as if waiting for her to come up with another bogus excuse.

Tenten rolled her eyes before sighing:

* * *

_See, at the party, everything was going great. Until suddenly ninja's from the village hidden in the mist came out of nowhere, but everyone seemed to ignore them, or maybe they didn't notice them. BUT THEY WERE STEALING THE FRACKING GINGERBREAD! I** HAD** TO DO SOMETHING! So I took them on, one to five. I kicked the first one in the face, and used my weapons to kill the other two, the last was a bit difficult. He caught me, and I still have no idea why no one would help me. Eventually, I got him though. I'm lucky I only came out with a black eye too, they were probably jounin. _

* * *

She looked angry, who knew Tenten was one to hold a grudge.

Ibiki took a good, long look at the girl before resting his forehead in his hand and muttering, "Just-just go."

The brunette left the room cursing the rest of the konoha twelve under her breath.

* * *

_**Someone once told me the grass is much greener, on the other side.**_

**Goddamn, as told by ginger depressed the shit out of me, like that was my least favorite show on nickelodeon.**

**Anyways, happy 21st**

**& thx 4 revewin xoxo :***


	11. Choji

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

_**Choji**_

Choji sat inside the room, pleasantly happy with all the familiar faces. He'd missed them.

"Choji Akimichi," an ANBU wearing a rat mask nodded, "It's your turn to confess your wrongs on last night."

The boy blunk, "Oh! You mean the party, yeah okay."

_It was awesome, seriously a shame you all didn't come. The food was fantastic, there was roast beef, turkey, chicken, and any other meat you could possibly imagine! Barbeque pork, even lizard! So good. Sakura is such a good cook, or maybe it was Ino. Wait no, it was Hinata, yeah they brought something sweet though. Hm, I'm sorry I really don't know who cooked the food. But it was heavenly._

This was hopeless. Ibiki gave up. "Get out of my office boy."

When Choji did, he facepalmed, these kids were idiot drunks who were in dire need of some help and restrain. What with the promiscuous Ino, bashful Hinata, drunk Shikamaru, idiot Naruto, rude Sasuke, and the rest of the terrible children, he hated them all.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, its almost midnight. Internet explorer is whack.**

**Anyways, stay tuned for tomorah, probably best update of this sad excuse of a story.**

**But I have to say, it was a lot of fun writing short crack everyday.**

**Thanks for enjoying this y'all. :)**


	12. Shino

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**_Shino_**

It was as shame really, this generation had such potential. Wielders of the two richest clans' bloodline, an elite medic trained by the fifth hokage herself, the ino-shika-cho trio. They had the goddamn Kyuubi for pete's sake!

He cleared his throat to reprimand them, "I am deeply disappointed in all of you. But none of you care, you care should all be ashamed of yourselves!"

Every kunoichi and a few of the others looked at their feet, while only the hardcore kids looked him right in the eye. Bad to the bone, baby.

"Did all of you really get wasted, to the point where none of you had a coherent blue what was going on? Because every single one of you in this room gave us a completely different explanation."

All was silent.

"Now unless one of you know the complete story and has evidence, you're all being locked up for the remainder of the year. And don't think you're getting off easy, your next term will start exactly on January first, twelve o'one new year's day morning."

Everyone tensed, even the jounin, those were their students, their stupid stupid students that got themselves into deep trouble no one could pull them out of. Hinata's eyes watered, what type of example was she setting for Hanabi? Even Sasuke was uneasy, this wasn't what Itachi would've wanted.

Until someone spoke, "I know what happened."

The voice was deep, so it couldn't have belonged to any of the females. But it was quiet, as though he hadn't been speaking much. All eyes were scanning the room, tilting their heads to look at...

_Shino?_

"Was he even there?"

"Yeah man, who invited you?"

"Stop stalking us you freak!"

He twitched at their ignorance and insults. Idiots. And to think he was about to save them all. He was too nice for his own good. "I _was_there, and I know exactly what happened."

Somebody coughed "Creep." in the background, Shino scowled. "If you guys want to go to jail be my guests-"

"No!" "We were just kidding!" "Please save us!" Thats more like it.

The interrogator only shifted his feet, "Go on, and if you lie, you're getting double time."

Shino pushed his sunglasses up and began;

**_Flashback December first_**

_"Sasuke! Sasuke! Come on please, we **have** to throw a party!" Naruto jumped around his best friend exuberantly. The Uchiha only frowned, "Dobe, no one cares about Christmas, everybody just wants presents because they're greedy."_

_Naruto let out a gasp, "Sasuke! How could you say that! Everybody **loves **Christmas!"_

_Sasuke winced at the volume of his blonde idiot's voice. And after a few minutes of his friend's pleas he relented, "Alright already, but I'm not helping with anything."_

_He didn't seem to hear him, "Ino! INO!" Naruto ran off to the Yamanaka flower shop's direction. Sasuke sighed, he already didn't like where this was going._

_"A PARTY?!" The Uchiha cringed, there was a reason why the Yamanaka's weren't invited to dinner parties back when his family held them. He staggered to them._

_"Is it true?" Ino squealed when he came into view, "Are you really having a party?!"_

_"Hn." She practically jumped with joy. "I have to go tell Sakura, I don't even know what i'm going to wear! Sakura! Sakura!" Her long ponytail bounced as she skipped to her friend._

_"I guess Ino's got invitations covered," Naruto laughed sheepishly._

_Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "Go find her and tell her to keep her big mouth shut, I don't want any civilians, Hyuuga's or fangirls."_

_He nodded and was gone without a trace. _

_After breaking in with a simple jutsu, Sasuke scowled at the condition of his old house, he remembered back when he was eight, how pristine everything was. The floors then spotless, were now dusty and old. He picked up a broom and began sweeping, trying not to think of the memories._

_When he was done cleaning, the door rattled, probably someone trying to knock. The last Uchiha unlocked the door, peering down at the shorter Ino, "Don't just stand there! Go help Naruto carry the tree, its huge!"_

_The blonde shoved her way past him through the door, Sasuke was confused and angry. He said he wasn't helping with anything! And who did Ino Yamanaka think she was letting herself into his house? He trudged towards Naruto, unhappily. _

_Naruto was lugging the tree on the porch when he was met with a punch on the gut._

_"**Dobe****.." **he seethed. _

_After spitting some blood out, Naruto put both his hands up defensively, "Now Sasuke, just don't get mad it's just a tree-" Another blow, this one to the face._

_He stared down at his hurt friend, cruelly smiling at him before someone shouted "Sasuke!"_

_Said boy looked behind him and back to Ino, "I told you to help him not beat him, and Naruto! Get up, that tree isn't going to fix itself. Where is Sakura?! SAKURA?!"_

_"Shut up pig, I could hear you from my house." their teammate came along, carrying pots and pans. Frustrated, Sasuke walked out of the house, "I'm leaving."_

_"Come back before six!" Ino called after him. He rolled his eyes, they would be lucky if he came back at all._

_It was just getting dark when Sasuke came back, it was his house after all. He wasn't going to leave it alone with losers he didn't trust._

_The house smelled like warm food, and was warm itself compared to the weather outside. It was also bright, brighter than the entire Uchiha compound had ever been. When he reached the door he was greeted with more or less a dozen familiar faces. What. The. Fuck. He had specifically said** no Hyuugas**, yet two pairs of gray eyes stared at him, one timid, the other peeved. If Neji Hyuuga was so irritated of being inside an Uchiha home, he could kindly get the fuck out. _

_He took a seat on one of the white chairs, frowning at how they managed to turn this place into a circus. _

_Ino came into the room, clutching a top hat with small white strips of paper inside it. "Okay everybody, listen up!" When everyone looked her way she smiled, "We're all going to do a secret santa, and then on the twenty fourth we'll exchange our gifts okay?"_

_How about fuck no. Shikamaru grouched, why did Suna have to have a sandstorm now? He missed Temari. Ino came around, handing a scrap of paper to each of them, "Don't tell anyone who you got, it's a secret!"_

_Shikamaru opened his disinterestedly, **Sakura,** he frowned, what could she want that she doesn't already have? He threw his scrap on the floor, bringing the cup to his lips and closing his eyes._

_Kiba Inuzuka was elated, not only because he didn't have to spend the night doing nothing, but because of Sakura. The most beautiful girl in the leaf village. So many people loved her, Naruto, Lee, but maybe he had a chance and could outshine them tonight._

_Hinata made sure to keep her distance from Sasuke, he was trouble. He must've noticed because every time she'd glance at him he would be glaring in her direction._

_Tenten watched them, so typical, the rookie nine were so immature. Neji was on her level, and she really did wish the same could be said about Lee, who was shouting about the youthful joys of baby jesus._

_Choji was marvelling in the wonderful food, spending no time talking and all the time eating. _

_"THIS PARTY BLOWS." Whoever said that was right, this was a boring waste of time. Up until that point no one had touched the sake Sasuke brought before the party. Kiba had an idea._

_"How exactly do you play this again?" Sakura asked, eyeing her drink suspiciously. Kiba had distributed twelve cups filling each of them equally. It was a drinking game he had made up, "Basically like truth or dare, except if you chose to do neither, you have to drink the entire cup." Her green eyes widened, a whole cup of sake? Kiba was out of his mind._

_After looking around the room and seeing no objections he called, "Alright, now everybody get in a circle." They reluctantly did, murmuring to each other._

_Once they were settled, Naruto grinned, "Who's first?" _

_"Why don't you start?" Ino prodded from across him._

_He gave an arch look, "m'kay, Ino, truth or dare?"_

_She bit her tongue, she didn't mean her! "_Dare_." Ino was no coward._

_The taller blonde raised an eyebrow, "I dare you to take your shirt off."_

**_SLAP_**

_Naruto rubbed his, now red, cheek, muttering "Cheater." Since she didn't take a sip of her cup._

_The other's laughed and continued, "Mm, Neji," his eyes narrowed, "Truth or dare?"_

_The Hyuuga prodigy sighed, he was too old for this. He took a gulp from his cup, and surprised the group when he was finished. Neji fixated his eyes around the room, "Sasuke, truth or dare?"_

_Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Truth." Nobody was making him do anything._

_"Who here has the nicest rack?" Was Neji really drunk already? Idiot. _

_He twitched at the question but then smirked, "Your cousin."_

_Hinata found all eyes on her, or rather, on her chest. Her head spun, and then she was out like a light. Sasuke was at least expecting Neji to come at him, maybe disable a few chakra points, but no, the brunette only filled his cup to the brim with sake._

_Sasuke shook his head, how was the branch member supposed to protect the heir? "Somebody wake her up, Naruto, truth or dare?"_

_"I dare you to pole dance."_

_The blonde smirked, "Only if Ino helps me." Ino smiled, she had no problem with that._

_They were all engrossed in their dancing that the game sort of ending on its own, everyone eventually doing their own thing. _

_Hinata, still a bit dizzy, took to staring at her cousin. It was quite odd, Neji trying to flirt with Tenten, "So like I know you like weapons but are you into that kinky sort of shit? Like BDSM?"_

_Her face paled when she heard Tenten's reply of "I've never really tried it, but I'm willing."_

_That was the last anybody saw of them._

_Lee was trying fruitlessly to get Sakura to dance with him. "Please? Just one dance?"_

_The pinkette sighed frustratedly, "I told you already, I'm not a dancer."_

_"I'll teach you." Kiba's voice came in, then they were dancing too._

_Choji looked around the room, he didn't really have anyone to talk to, with Shikamaru sleeping, or possibly unconscious from alcohol poisoning. And he had the feeling everyone kinda hated him, so he stayed alone in the corner, having ate all the food._

_Hinata was caught staring at Ino and Naruto dry humping each other, "Enjoying yourself Hyuuga?"_

_She frowned at the familiar deep voice, Sasuke._

_Once he realized she was giving him the silent treatment, he taunted, "Must be hard, watching the one you love be with someone else."_

_Hinata bit her lip, what did he know? She went to pour herself a drink, maybe that would distract her. And hopefully make him leave. "I wouldn't drink that if I were you."_

_"Yeah? Well you're not me," she caught herself saying, staring up at his face fiercely, "so stop worrying."_

_The heiress took a small sip, immediately regretting it when her mouth met with the bitter taste, she went to walk away, hoping to spit it out, before something caught her arm._

**_Sasuke.._**

_He had his eyes closed as he uttered through clenched teeth, "I didn't say it because I was worried about you, don't flatter yourself."_  
_"So why **did** you say it?" Hinata was feeling bold tonight.._

_The taller boy's dark eyes narrowed to slits, "Because I didn't want you forgetting tonight." Suddenly his hands her on either sides of her cheek and the next thing she knew, their lips met._

_She remembered Ino once told her the first kiss is always the most memorable. And she was right._

_Kiba saw that, and believe me, it took all his self control to not beat the shit out of Sasuke Uchiha. He then noticed Sakura place both hands on his shoulders, and leaning in to whisper, "You're really sweet, thanks for helping me decorate."_

_Reflexabley pulling her closer, he muttered, "Don't mention it, I had fun."_

_"Well, good." she smiled, and got on her tippy toes to kiss him._

_Neither of the blonde's missed that, and wanting to be in the "in crowd" they kissed too. _

_Neji and Tenten probably would've too, if they weren't up on the roof getting shitfaced. _

_It was pretty heartbreaking, watching everyone happily kiss, Lee took to singing- er screaming, "JOY, GLORIOUS YOUTH, JOY JOY. LOVE AND PEACE TO THE WORLD."_

_Until someone threw their shoe and knocked him out cold, two down, ten left. Assuming Tenten and Neji haven't frozen outside in the cold._

_Shino watched them distastefully, with both squad members occupied, he had no one to talk with. Choji had fallen asleep happily. He was pretty sure he just heard a cracking outside, Tenten probably fell and broke something. Hinata and Sasuke were out of his sight. Must've been upstairs doing the nasty. At least they had some decency about it, unlike Ino and Naruto who were shamelessly gnawing at each others skins. Disgusting. Kiba, surprisingly, kept it clean with Sakura. Funny, he seemed like the first to ruin a nice girl like her._

_Shikamaru and Lee were both out of it. _

_The sake was left unoccupied at the table. Tempting him. Calling him._

_Shino clutched the bottle uneasily, he took one last look at everyone there, and shook his head._

**_Bottoms up. _**

He took a large breath, having explained all that in first person perspective. Shino was also still trying to get over his massive hangover from last night.

"And that's the complete and honest truth?" Ibiki commanded.

Naruto nodded, "Yeah I think its all coming back to me."

"I must've gotten a black eye when you pushed me off the roof Neji." Tenten mused, rubbing her eye. Neji twitched, "Yeah, maybe."

After sharing a look with the others, Ibiki nodded, "Alright then, I hereby declare this interrogation over, and you can all go home and enjoy the holidays."

Everyone cheered, until Kiba spoke up, "Well, thats really good and all but, if Shino said I didn't do anything last night, then..where are my pants?"

Akamaru came into the room, vomiting what looked like black cloth.

"Umm, Kiba.."

* * *

**I couldn't help but end this on a funny note. It is a humor story after all. I really do hope it seemed mysterious because that's like, my favorite genre. I've always wanted to do a suspense mystery horror story with rich people and a dinner party and a murderer in the house. Cliche as frack. But whatevz****  
I am so grateful that you guys enjoyed this :D Gives me hope  
**

**OH! andddd, this was supposed to be uploaded yesterday because Id be damned if I couldn't give you guys a Christmas present after I promised **_before_** Christmas. Ok, so I don't use microsoft word because I hate it and it seems i cant even spell "monday" right with out having to capitalize the M. So I use Google Docs. love it. I can spell Inoichi and they still accept it as a real word. ok. Now, what I do, is I copy and paste everything I just wrote on docs, because fanfiction doesn't support google drive. But last night, none of that was working and it was really late and I hate internet explorer and it took forever,jkfdngejvre I went to sleep frustrated.  
**

**FUN FACT: THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FINISHED STORY. :D  
**

**IT HAD TO BE SHINO, I HAD THIS PLAN SINCE OCTOBER 27TH I THINK, THAT THEY WERE GOING TO GET BUSTED FOR A HALLOWEEN PARTY, BUT I GOT LAZY AND THERE WAS NOWAY I WAS WRITING TWELVE OF THOSE BEFORE THE 31st. THANKS FOR REVIEWING EERY CHAPTER NARUTOROX LUV U.  
**

**N E WAYZ, REVIEWERS GET A HUG (^~^)**

**MERRY**_(late)_**CHRISTMAS**~

**ANDDDD HAPPY HOLIDAYS :D**


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